It seems the world has gone crazy in the realm of personal and romantic relationships. As I look back and see our history it appears that in the 1950’s & 1960’s people got married and stayed married alot more than they do these days. In the early 1980’s my parents split up and this was a big deal. I was the first person in my class to go through this ordeal. After that neither one of my parents ever really dated much or remarry. I was not witness to what a happy, healthy relationship felt like or looked like, aside from what I picked up on TV sitcoms.
I have come to see that a lot of people are not really sure what a truly happy relationship is made up of. Many simply take what looks good. or what shows up in front of them and hope for the best, without really questioning it. Years later they find themselves fighting over money and who gets the kids.
I think the downfall of relationships came in the 80’s & 90’s when fashion & gossip magazines started glamorizing ‘thin and beautiful as the new sexy.’ American society became overly obsessed with the body – more cleavage and men with tight abs in underwear briefs was on everyone’s minds. And with that came the infamous Questionnaires on “How you scored on achieving the perfect sex life.”
No wonder we are confused and stressed about dating. Our handbooks have been written from the ego mind which looks for instant gratification, and bodily attractiveness which is near impossible. Most models photographed these days are air brushed by computer before going to print, so do we really know who we are?
I admit I have fallen prey to popular media ideals and chosen men based on the outer package & charm. But outer appearances cannot satisfy because the ego mind which looks at the external world will always want more. After jumping in with both feet and then discovering, that this is not the pond I want to swim in the rest of my life, a feeling of entrapment or boredom sets in. People either stay in that and wither away, or they escape and move on to another similar situation until they wake up.
The deeper question for me now in my mid-forties is not what my ego wants but what does my soul want. How I wish I had remembered to ask this of myself when I was in my early twenties, but such as life. I know that all is perfectly unfolding as intended. Now it is time to release old patterns and habits, choose the higher road, which is often less traveled, a lot more adventurous, and ultimately leads to a different outcome.
After many attempts to find divine love and not succeeding, I opened my mind up to creating a new kind of relationship. From my experience when you set out to try something new, wisdom comes to guide you. Recently a wise friend of mine from East Indian descent shared this with me on the topic of relationships, “Humans will always struggle in relationships on earth because – the perfect relationship is the one that you have with God. When you come to earth and first feel a separation from that perfection, there is an innate need to find that again. Most people look for that in a life mate, or spouse and when that spouse who carries human traits of imperfection fails you there is disappointment.”
Just knowing this has been enough of a wake-up call to see that the ultimate relationship is the one with the Divine Creator. Once you begin to rekindle that relationship I often hear people say now I need to work on the relationship I have with myself. I find this step unnecessary, or if you really feel you need this time make it brief. If it goes on too long you return to ego imposed self absorption which is highly destructive and incredibly unproductive.
When you have returned to oneness with God the self actually dissolves. I began my relationship with God by posting this mantra on my wall: Supreme Lord, awaken in me the part of myself that wishes to be in service and cooperation with your Divine Will. Once the request has been made, with a pure and devoted heart, the door is open and the mysteries of life become clear.
The next step is to open up to a divine union with another human being, which ultimately is God in body. Letting go of the idea of the outer package being the draw, and looking at how their consciousness and life experiences match up with you and your soul’s mission is the ultimate pathway to true happiness in relationships. When you find that connection with someone – linger in the getting to know each other phase for a long time. If sex comes, it does, but it is not necessary to your spiritual progress as a couple.
So where are relationships going? I see them going towards spiritually advanced matched beings coming together all over the globe. These couples will co-create balance and harmony as they unite, and their peace and happiness will ultimately bring peace to every person they come in contact with. These couples’ presence will shift our planet without them having to DO any thing in particular…. except BE LOVE.
There is no need to feel rushed to find this person. As I am – simply being in a state of inner peace, by connecting with God through daily meditation is enough to attract your VIBRATIONAL SOUL MATCH. If you have been looking for love in all the wrong places, I encourage you to open up to the truth of who you are – a Child of God the Creator – you came here to love…, to observe it… to feel it…, and to fully express it. Your true spiritual partner is present in your life now. Open your 3rd eye and see.
~Happy Pilgrim – I am ~